Threads of Darkness

I woke up disturbed. The dreams I’d fought all night now eluded me. Everything inside churned. My heartbeat like a bass drum—slow, deep, hollow. My thoughts searched for a quiet place to land. My spirit couldn’t rest.


The dismal grey clouds?

The sense of loneliness?


Unanswered questions?


Who knows?

Only One does.

I opened the Bible to Psalms. Though I didn’t find the answer to the questions, I found the answer to my unrest.

Psalm 43:5 “Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.”

There are so many details in life screaming for answers. Numerous circumstances I can’t control. Things happen around me or to those I care about and I can’t help or protect them in any way.

If I give in to the despair threatening to wrap a stone around me and throw me into the depths of the ocean, all the wonderful things God planned cannot come about (Psalm 40:5, Ephesians 2:10).

And the devil wins.

I’m just stubborn enough that when I realize it’s the enemy behind the dark thoughts (can’t be God because He’s the Giver of good and He is light), I stand up straighter, claim God’s strength and courage (Joshua 1:9) and do what God said through David—praise Him.

God is still in control. He’s the One responsible for answering the swirling questions and caring for the needs of those I love. I am not.

As I spend more time praising Him as Lord, rather than giving time to worrisome thoughts, which want the position of lord, my spirit lifts to where it needs to be—His presence.

How can anyone say God doesn’t care about the details of our lives? I am just a normal person, in a small town in Idaho, in the northern part of the U.S., in the western/northern hemisphere, in this world, in this great big universe.

Yet, when my heart dragged down, He cared enough to point me to the exact place in Scripture I needed today … not next week … today.

If you don’t think God cares, ask Him to show you a glimpse of His heart for you where you are right now.

I had to go to His word. Could He have used a different way to remind me how much He cares? Sure. But He involved me in the process. This was personal. Because He did, I knew where to turn.

We can’t let the enemy convince us God is too big to care. Part of the Holy Spirit’s job is to remind us of what God has taught us like clinging to His Word.

In claiming His Lordship, His promises, and standing on His truth, we can follow His wisdom and do what He teaches. Don’t let the dark, heavy, worrisome thoughts get on the throne of your life … that place belongs to God and only Him.

Let’s praise Him today, especially when dark thoughts try to take over. Put them in their place and praise Him.


Photo credit: Marissa Gedde

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