Guilty

Light-enrobed beings sat near the ceiling of the courtroom. At ground level, across from where I sat, hooded creatures shuffled and guffawed.

The dark-robed, wig-wearing, creepy prosecutor continued to ramble until he spun on his squeaky shoes and pointed a long, scrawny finger at me.

“Your Honor, she has destroyed more people than any human knows. She flayed them. Ruined them. Scorned and teased them before going after what life they had left.”

I pulled at my collar and finally undid the top button. It didn’t help. The lack of circulating air in the courtroom was going to suck the life right out of me no matter what the Judge said. I glanced around for help while the prosecutor stomped. Would no one rise to object on my behalf?

But why object? I was guilty.

The prosecutor’s tone turned to a growl. “So, your honor, I ask that she receive the death penalty. In Your courtroom, she deserves it for every person she annihilated. But since she can only give but one life, I demand it.” He snarled, then pointed toward the display table at the edge of the room.

Multiple images were scattered across the wood grain table. The top picture was of my best friend from childhood I turned on when a more popular girl moved to town. My brother’s photo reminded me of how I had promised him the world and given him nothing in return for all he’d done. Relative after relative, friend after friend, acquaintance after acquaintance. Their pictures taunted me. My words and attitudes had ripped their hearts and torn at their souls in my selfishness.

I tried to connect with each face, but they swam in front of me. I couldn’t stand to see anymore but couldn’t bear to look away. I had crushed each of them in some way. Time after time, I’d begged forgiveness and told them how sorry I was. But who wants to stick around when words and actions never agree?

So, each one turned from me as loneliness sucked away any bit of feeling once between us. Now, here I sat ready to receive my sentence. I knew it would be bad. I would likely get the death penalty in this holy place. I deserved it. But no one is ever ready to hear such a judgment.

My name was called. I stood but could not even glance at the holiness of the Judge.

A deep, echoing voice spoke. “Chiara Bellingham, do you understand the charges brought against you?”

“Yes, sir.” Hopefully, the Judge heard, because I couldn’t get anything else around the knot in my throat.

“Do you understand the sheer numbers of wounds you instilled with your anger, bitterness, and manipulation?”

Words stuck. I nodded. The next moment, my sobs filled the hollow, stifling room. I had tried to change. Make amends. Was it truly too late? Of course, it was. My legs would no longer hold me.

A shriek resounded. Mine? I didn’t know. The chamber shook.

“Your honor, I must object. He is too late,” the accuser screamed.

Pressure touched my elbow and supported me. The floor beneath me seemed gone. I gasped for air as I looked around.

He stood beside me. The One I’d clung to many times in the months since I’d quit running.

Still, the prosecutor stalked, his head bobbing as the long mane shook and jostled. “This is not right, Your Honor. She is guilty and deserves eternal death and separation from anything having to do with You. She deserves all the suffering I have for her. Remember all she’s done and all she hurt.”

I looked up into the face of mercy I’d seen the first time after my last betrayal. His deep, dark eyes hadn’t changed. The same love flowed from them now as it had then.

Seconds ticked. Another shriek filled the air. Jeers from hecklers called out.

Then silence.

I looked around. The prosecutor was gone. All the shadowed beings who had shouted their contempt had vanished.

I dared a glance at the Judge. He and my Friend looked at each other, then my Friend spoke.

“I have her covered, Father. She is Mine.” He reached out His hand still scarred from my sins.

I placed my hand on His.

The Most High Judge spoke, “Covered by the blood. Done.” He circled the table, then wrapped His arms around me. Warmth replaced every speck of guilt.

Walking out of the courthouse, I lifted my chin. No sun was needed. Glory shone. I was forgiven and set free.

 

Photo Credit: Unsplash-Mark Kassinos